Monday, 18 August 2014

Inspirational Monday: Close the door

Sometimes we have a hard time letting the past be the past...be it regarding friendships, relationships or that bad grade on a test, you should learn how to close the door to your past and let the future be the future...and most importantly, don't take the present to seriously.

Now don't get me wrong, you should think about your future! Just don't take it to seriously...don't let it control your life, your every single moment!


Every day is a new day. A new opportunity, to start over, to do better, to let the past be the past! Get drunk, go on a vacation with your friends, try new things! You want to have stories to tell your grandchildren or your old friends once you're at a elderly home, right?

But learn when you should open that door again. Don't let the opportunity of seeing an old friend go by, just because you want the past to be the past. There is place for everything, in moderation. Learn when to open the door and when to let it be closed!

Rosie 

Monday, 11 August 2014

Inspirational Monday: Self Worth

Since I got so many e-mails of people asking me to bring back Inspirational Monday, I decided "meh, why not...let's give them folks some inspirations at the start of the week again!" and here we are again!!!

For way to long I spent my time looking for people to validate me. Be it my friends, my aunts and uncles, my parents, the man at the newspaper stand....ok, maybe not the last one, but you get the idea! And guess what? I was miserable!!!

I thought I had to change myself, be someone else, make everyone happy...and that was just not happening! I mean...you can NEVER please everyone...and you shouldn't! You should please yourself, be who YOU want to be. As long as it's not a murderer. Please don't think it's ok to be a murderer from reading this post...


You need to accept yourself...accept that you're not the thinnest or the tallest or the shortest or the smartest or the dumbest or whatever it is you're not and think you should be! Once you do that, you'll start seeing your own worth!

 Everyone has exceptional characteristics and qualities and I feel people spend way to much time thinking about what they're not and forget to see how awesome they already are!!! And they should see that and everything will fall into place!

Unless you're a murderer. Never be a murderer!

Rosie

Sunday, 10 August 2014

Good friends and good drinks!


This past week was quite eventful. Wednesday was very hard for me and I wasn't doing very well. Luckily me and some friends got out of work early and decided to meet up with a fourth friend of our for some drinks to brighten up the mood!

We decided to go to Naschmarkt in Vienna and have some drinks at Neni's. We sat outside and I must say it was some of the most fun I've had ever since I got to Vienna! We laughed, we talked about a lot of things and we had drinks. I had a glass of Hugo Spritzer and I must say I loved it! I'd heard of it before, but this was my first time trying it and I spent the whole time thinking how me and my best friend Hugo would make jokes about it!

Hugo Spritzer

At 19:00 two of our friends had to leave, but me and R. went to a pub in the first district and sit by the bar having fun and talking! So we decided to go to the 1516 Brewing Company and I have to say I might make it one of my go-to places from now on! The atmosphere is amazing, the staff is nice, the music is just up my alley and they have the best beer in town. Even though I had a Cranberry Juice, but I take the word that the beer is amazing! Oh and the potato wedges are


Yesterday we had decided to go all out again, but then two of us couldn't go so it was just me and E. We decided to go walk by Schwedenplatz for a while and then ended up sitting at a table outside of the S'Eck. It was a really cool place to be, we could talk and have fun and the lovely lady who served us was really nice! We ended up trading drinks after trying each others drinks and even though I originally had ordered a Mangospritzer I ended up drinking a Veilchenspritzer. It's white wine with soda water and violet syrup and it's yummy! 


I don't usually go out during the week, and even on Wednesday I was home by 9PM, so it wasn't really a "night out". But being with those friends was just what I needed to feel better! They sure as hell know how to have a good time!

It's nice to know you have good friends and it sure is true, it's in those times when you're down that you find out who really is your friend. And I ain't gonna let these three go anytime soon! 

Rosie

Saturday, 9 August 2014

Investment

I'm a very social person and I've been told I'm a very good friend, which is something I always love to hear, for obvious reasons!

But I'm also someone who takes friendships very serious. And, like everyone, I've also been hurt and disappointed and spent my time on the wrong people. At the time it was horrible and I was very hurt and didn't want to ever have friends again, but today I realize it makes me a better person and more appreciative of my real friends!


I remember when I was in college still and one particular year was very rough because I lost two friends for completely stupid reasons (basically they were not ok with "sharing" my friendship with anyone else and didn't want me being friends with anyone else, while being with them), but regardless of the reasons, it was hard. Especially because one of them decided to be really mean and talk crap about me and I was stupid too sensitive and always felt bad about it when I heard it. 

Bottom line is, I ended up learning to invest in the right kind of friends!!! Real friends aren't threatened by you being friends with other people, they encourage you to do so. They help you up when you're down and pull you back down when your head is to far up in the clouds (which in my case happened a lot!).

As hard as it might be, and trust me, I know how hard it is sometimes, you need to do what is best for you! If you keep investing your time and friendship on someone who doesn't give a crap, you'll end up hurt and alone in the end...instead, try to figure out who is worth your time, your commitment and your friendship...and in the end you'll feel better and be sure you got the right friends!!!

Rosie

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

New apartment decorating ideas!

So, since I found a new apartment I've been thinking of how I'd like to decorate it...It has almost no furniture (just a bit of storage and one bookshelf-kinda-thing) and I only have my bed...

That's why I decided to go on Polyvore to get some inspiration...and then of course share with you guys! Here it is:
New apartment decorating ideas!

What I definitely need is a table, because the apartment isn't furnished and I only have my bed...so that's kinda my priority right now...and of course, some chairs! You can see I'm leaning on to white furniture, because I feel it'll make the apartment look bigger (or at least not smaller than it already is) and that way I can also play with colors in the accents!

For outside (did I mention I have a terrace????) I'd also like to get a table and two chairs...so we can sit and relax...of course an umbrella is also in order, especially with my light and fair and stupidly sensitive skin!

Other than that, I'm thinking of getting curtains in a sort of greenish color, that will look good and calm, but not too girly...

This last one will make my Mom proud...but I'm thinking of getting a rug....ikea has a very similar one to the one above, which I fell in love with!!! It's not too big..not too small...perfect neutral color...I just love it...me, the person who used to hate rugs!

Rosie

Monday, 4 August 2014

Lip pampering!

The good thing about having friends scattered all over the world is that they can send you stuff you can't find in your country!!!
For my birthday, my good friend D who is now living in the USA, sent me this lovely eos kit!!! 


Eos is definitely one of my favorite lip balm brands, but it's always very hard to get by...so when I got these delivered at my doorstep for my birthday, I was more than pleased! I think I may or may not have squealed of happiness!

Do you know eos? Have you tried them? I love that you can have lots of different flavors and that all the ingredients they use are natural!

Rosie

Saturday, 2 August 2014

Welcome August!

Yesterday was the 1st of August...and it really made me realize how fast time flies by!
I moved here on the 4th of February and sometimes it seems like I've been living here forever...sometimes it seems I just saw my parents yesterday.


I wish everyone an amazing August! Make the best of it everyday, the best YOU can! Be happy, don't over think things, see the positive in everyday, don't let other ruin your mood, because it's up to you to make the best of every single day in your life!

If you can't change it or control it, stop focusing on it! Things will end up getting into place when you least expect it, I promise you! And when they do, you'll appreciate them even more!

It's the last month of Summer (not that we've had much of a Summer here in Austria!), so take in those late sunny afternoons, those dates with your friends, the free time you have, as small as it might be, take it in, be happy and enjoy this month!

Have an amazing August everyone!

Rosie


Friday, 1 August 2014

Open letter to the girl who hate messaged me on Facebook!

The other day I got home to a rather unexpected surprise. I had a message on my private Facebook from a girl who thought it was mature and very appropriate to send me a message saying how crappy I am. Why? Well, there are reasons why this girl might not like me, that I am not going to explain here, because it doesn't matter. Here some of the things she wrote to me (in two messages) and my comments. Below is also my full response to it. Because, you know, we cannot let this go without a response!

Apparently she is very happy to have "won". I am very happy for her, even thought I did not realize this was a competition. My bad, I should have been paying more attention.
 According to her I am manipulative and fake and it's all due to the fact that I'm fat. I did not know your body shape/weight determined who someone is or their personality. Again, my bad for not being on top of things.
Also, according to her, men only have interest in me to try something "new" and "different". I did now know I was so out of the ordinary. Maybe I am an alien?
Oh, I am not smart or beautiful. I am now very worried, as I once was told that women that aren't smart or beautiful will never get a husband and we all know the goal of a woman is to get a husband to support her financially so she can bear his kids and take care of the house. If I am unable to find a man to marry me, what will be of my life? 
According to this person, the fact that I am fat automatically means I am seeking for attention from every man I can find, making me a "slut" and "whore". Like I said above, I did not know your body shape determined your personality.
I should stop eating so I'm not this fat anymore or better yet, I should just go ahead and kill myself (because then I wouldn't be a burden to society and I'm guessing her as well anymore). Le'mme think about it....nop. Not gonna do that. I enjoy eating healthy and killing myself just for being fat seems a bit too dramatic. Plus, how would I do it? There are just way too many options and thinking about all of the ways for one to kill themselves is just too time consuming for me. Besides, I'm 3000km away from my parents and if I'm going to off myself, I want at least to give some proper goodbyes and a freaking party!

My first thought when I saw the first message was "meh". No, literally. The next day when I got home and had yet another message I just blocked the girl and thought "wtf, are we 12 and back in middle school?!". And then I thought this would give a good post! I thought about how many girls out there get messages like these and go on feeling bad about themselves and I thought "hey, I can use this to help someone out there!".

I could have gotten mad. Heck a while ago I probably would have! But truth is...you writing me this just shows how immature you are and, quite frankly, how much of a bad character you have. Insulting someone based on how they look is a despicable and vile thing to do. Not to mention that it's just a cowardly thing to do, because you're behind a screen. 
It just goes to show how insecure you are about yourself! It scares you that someone close to you might have interest in me and so you go and try to put me down by commenting on my weight (and apparent lacking of intelligence and beauty).

What you don't know about myself is that I struggled for a very long time. Too long. I would starve myself for days, there was a point in my life I only ate one soup a day! All because I thought being thin would make me somehow feel better about myself. And you want to know what happened? I ended up unhappy as fuck, wasted a year in a relationship with a guy who did not appreciate or respect me whatsoever and by the time I ended it I was at my rock bottom. And it took me a loooooog ass time to get to the point where I am today. And your little petty remarks about my body will not put me down!! 

I love my body and I don't need any man to tell me I am beautiful. I know I am! Like every other woman out there is, I truly believe we are ALL beautiful. And no, being fat does not make me want to go out and sleep with every guy I find! I take sexual intimacy very seriously and will not just jump in the sack with any guy...I mean, you don't even know if someone showers properly before you have a conversation with them and stuff...ya know, that's the kind of thing you need to know before you get to that stage with someone! I don't have "Daddy issues" and I don't need a man to make me feel like a woman (I have my period for that, reminding me every month how "blessed" I am for being able to carry children and all because I'm of the female sex). Regardless of my body shape or size or how much I weight.

I am not mad at you because I know better. I know those two messages came from a place of insecurity and hate and . You don't feel good about yourself and your relationship and doing this made you feel better about yourself. Well, if insulting me regarding my body makes you feel better about your own body and self, then I am more than happy to help you!!! But I think on the long run you should try to focus on yourself and try to get to a positive place, because sweetie, you're far from being a good person right now (which I personally already suspected). You have a lot of growing to do, and that's ok, we all had to do it. 

Girls, in my opinion, put other girls down to make themselves feel better. Women, on the other hand, empower each other. And this just goes to show that you're not a woman yet, but a girl. Maybe you'll get there one day, maybe not, but regardless, you'll have to find someone else to message, because I ain't gonna waste my time with little petty messages like that. I have way to much to do in my day and much more important people in my life to focus upon!

I just feel sorry for you. Plain and simple. I don't even think you are worth my time. Because someone who feels the need to do something this low and this vile, does not even deserve to be given attention. 

Has anyone else out there received hate comments, or how they now call it "fat shaming"? How did that feel? I hope reading this will help you realize that you are NOT the problem, but the person who did/said those horrible things. THEY are the problem, they're the ones who need to work on themselves. You are the victim here, not them. But you can choose if you want to act like a victim or move on with it! I chose the second option.

And remember everyone, this just goes to show that beauty isn't everything..

Rosie

Thursday, 31 July 2014

My favorite coffee spot in Vienna!

When I first lived in Vienna, four years ago, I lived with my aunt in the 3rd district. It is a very good location, because it's quiet, but you're in the center in 15min walking. Back then I found this little coffee shop in Karl Lueger Platz, only 10 min walking from the house, where I would go and study (and watch the WM games at the time!).
So it's to no surprise that when I got back in February, I decided to go back to my coffee haven! It has a smoker and a non-smoker region, which I find really good! I don't smoke and I don't mind sitting in the smoking area when I'm with smoking friends, but when I'm alone I prefer not to.


I usually like to sit on the left by the window...it has a switch for me to hook up my computer, I can watch people passing by and I can write on the blog or do whatever I need to do in the computer during the time, while drinking my amazing coffee!

If you're ever in Vienna I would advise you to come to this coffee shop! There are many in the city, but my favorite is definitely the one in Karl Lueger Platz (Subway station "Stubentor"). The girls are all extremely nice and they always have a smile for you when you get in and a "See you soon!" when you go out (or in my case it's a "see you next week!"). 

Now that I'm living further away it's not as easy to go there because it takes longer than 10min (about 30 to 45), but whenever I need some "me" time and inspiration to write I always go there! They have free internet too, which is a major plus!

Rosie

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Heart to heart: The day I let a boy make me doubt myself

As you all know, I've had quite the long journey to get to the point where I love myself and don't care what others think. But even if you all think I am always on the top of my game and know I'm worth it, sometimes I also slip up. So let me tell you the story about when a boy made me doubt myself and my own worth.

Soon after I got to Vienna, when I was already on a (so I thought) steady job and had my own place (for the time being) and all of that, I met someone. I am not going to bore you with the details of how or when we met. We hit it off right away, we get along really good and we have a ton of fun when we're together! He's funny and sweet and smart and good looking. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, I know better than to desperately go looking. It will happen whenever it has to happen. He on the other hand, was looking for someone, even though he might not admit it. So he was going out with someone else as well (nothing wrong with that, we were just friends, we were never "together" or anything!). 
It is no secret to anyone that we have feelings for one another. We just give off that vibe. "So, why didn't you get together with him Rosie?" you ask. Well...because he let society get in his head. 

He told me, to my face, that I am not his "type". I get it, people have types and all that...thing is, he let that control him and his emotions. My "type" are tall, dark and handsome guys with a bit of meat on their bones. This guy has blue eyes (something I never felt attracted to) and looks nothing like the type of man I usually gravitate to. But that was fine for me, because that connection we have and the intellectual and emotional part is so much more (plus he does look good, it's not like he's some kind of ugly-toothless-way-to-smelly-guy!). But he went a step further to say the other girl is his type. Yeah ok, fine...that's ok...I have friends who totally are my type but that don't mean I'll go have something with them because to me looks ain't everything! Thing is, he let that get to his head. He told me to my face that he has feelings for me. Deep feelings. The kind that make you feel all bubbly and fuzzy inside and shit. He told me he has nothing in common with that girl. That she doesn't make him happy, doesn't know him, doesn't make him feel all bubbly and fuzzy and shit. That it's purely physical. But since she's his type, he decided to be with her. And is trying to convince himself that he can end up developing the same kind of feelings for her that he has for me. Bottom line, he cares more about what people think about the person he's with, that to actually be with someone he truly has feelings for.

I let his superficial and shallow way of seeing things get to me. I started thinking I was the problem. That I wasn't good enough. That there was something wrong with me. And I fell into a deep well of self loath and doubts and feeling horrible and ugly and fat. As if I was the problem in this situation. I wasn't. I am not the problem. I was never the problem! As conceited as this might sound, I am and was always perfect. He decided to choose the superficial option, but that is not my problem! He is the one that will have to deal with his decision, because it affects him and his life, not me, not mine. 

Why am I telling you all this? So that you know that I'm not perfect. I too let people get into my head. I spent a long time trying to figure him out, trying to see what I did wrong, analyzing what he meant, if his feelings were real, if he had been lying, if...if...if...why..why...why. Until one day I woke up and I realized, it's not ME. I am better than this. Why was I letting someone else's opinion get me so down? Don't get me wrong, if I had no feeling whatsoever for him, I wouldn't have thought twice about it!!! I might have had my pride a bit stung, but I wouldn't get my feelings hurt. But I couldn't let this go on like this...it was ruining my self-esteem and my quality of life. And just plain honestly, I have way better things to worry about in my life!

And yes, in case you're wondering, I still talk to him. No, we will never be together as a couple and to be quite honest, I'm not so sure we'll be friend either, but time will tell. In the end of the day, when I lay awake in bed, I have my conscience clean. I know I didn't do the wrong thing, I know I didn't settle with someone just for their looks, I know I'm not sleeping with someone while thinking of someone else. And I know I value myself and, believe it or not, this whole situation made me appreciate myself even more! It made me remember who I am and that I came to far to let it all go down just because of someone's superficial opinions. My body, my life, my opinions are the ones that matter the most!

As you see, I too have highs and lows. I also get down, get doubts. It's OK.

As long as you get back up and get your shit together again!

Rosie

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Rosie Decorates: Apartment ideas!

As you might have seen on this post, I moved to my first very own apartment. Yeah yeah, I was living by myself before, but it was only until I could find something for myself, which meant I couldn't decorate anything, even if I wanted to.
But now all of that has changed and what I thought would be oh-so-fun to do, has turned into a nightmare. How do I know what I want??? Have you guys been to ikea?? I want everything I see. They have so many cute things...and I have such a small apartment...and an even smaller bank account...

Anyways, here are a couple of things I saw and am thinking of getting!


We had two of these chairs when I was growing up...I loved them and whenever I see them at ikea I immediately remember the times I spent sitting on ours just reading a book...So when I thought about getting a chair/tiny-little-smallest-possible-sized-sofa to put in front of my bed, this one immediately came to mind! I want to make a small "lounge" place for me to sit and relax and since I cannot have a big sofa in the apartment, this one is perfect!!


These shelves are perfect to put a lot of things! I have one of these, bigger, at my parent's place and love it! I thought about putting this beside the chair, to create a division in the room. It also is a good place to put my books and to store things.


My Mum loves carpets. I mean, the woman cannot get enough of them. She once cried when the dog threw up on one...and she then ruined it by washing it in the washer...ok, maybe I would have cried too if it had been really expensive, but at the time it felt a bit dramatic...anyways..I always hated carpets. I mean, I didn't want to have them in my room EVER and even managed to use the excuse that they collected dust and that was bad for my asthma to get rid of them. I mean, it's kinda true...but I said it more as an excuse xD

When I saw these I fell in love!!! I mean...after the whole "who am I?" debate inside my head I decided to say screw it and get a carpet! I just don't know which one of the two to get...I love the color of the one above, but I don't want my apartment to be all pink and stuff...I love pink...but not ALL pink...and my bed cover is already a very light pink color... The beige carpet would look good everywhere and with the white furniture (well, anything looks good with white!), but I'm afraid it will "die out" with the floors, because they're light wood in a similar color...


Anyways, these are some of the things I'm thinking of getting...what do you guys think? I already got some curtains for the balcony doors, in white with some gray details and I really like them! I just need to get the patience to shorten them a bit, because they're way too long!! But since I don't have a sewing machine and I don't want to spend money sending it somewhere, I'll have to do it by hand...it won't be perfect, but at least it'll look better that now (I'm making a know so they don't touch the floor..)

What do you guys think? Am I getting grown up or am I getting grown up??

Rosie

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Saturday Cuddles!

Cookie has to wear a cone around her neck so she doesn't bite her broken legs cast, but she hates it. Whenever I'm home, since the apartment is so tiny and I can always keep an eye on her, I take it off and she's been really good and never bites her leg. When she thinks I'm not seeing, she tries, but then she immediately stops when I tell her to.

Yesterday morning, when I woke up, I took her cone out to give her a break of it. It was Saturday, I was going to spend the morning at home anyways and I knew it would make her happy...and look how she reacted!


How freaking adorable is she???? She didn't use to like cuddles that much...and she definitely didn't like to be pet AT ALL, but ever since the fall, she's been a lot more cuddly and happy to be pet...sometimes she comes to me just for me to pet her once or twice and then she leaves...

I freaking love my cat!

Rosie

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Changes ahead

I started writing my first blog five years ago. I wanted to just write whatever came to my mind, but somehow I realized what the readers likes where fashion and style posts. So I started writing that kind of posts and it was fine..it is fine, it is fun to write...and most of all easy. 

Thing is, that's not only what I like. Yeah sure, I like styling people and reading about fashion, but that's not what I do most...I like writing, I like reading, I like laughing (A LOT). But what I like the most is inspiring people.

I want people, especially young girls, that it's ok not to be perfect. That you don't have to be skinny to be beautiful, that you don't need to look like a model That you are beautiful just the way you are. That everyone is beautiful.

But I have to admit, sometimes I don't write what I want because I'm scared of being judged. Truth is, everyone judges everyone, and if I really believe in what I write, why should I be freaking scared of showing it?! Right? Easier said than done...

I get regular e-mails from people saying that I inspired them with one or another post and my most read posts are the ones where I've opened up myself about my struggles and the whole way society makes women see themselves.

So yeah, this is just to let you all know, I'm gonna start writing more about that. I know I'll lose some readers, but I might gain some more. On days I post I get 200+ views and on days I don't I get 150+ views...and I don't think my Mum is coming every 5min to the blog to check if I wrote something new! I might get a bit personal, but that's ok. 

This is, after all, a blog about my life.

Rosie

Thursday, 24 July 2014

New apartment tour!

Remember when I said I moved? Before everything happened with Cookie I actually took a video of the empty apartment!

Check it out and let me know what you think!


Rosie

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Bullies will be bullies

I never understood people who hide behind a computer screen or a phone in order to bully other people. Don't get me wrong, I condone all types of bullying, but I find this type of bullying the worst. At least those guys we see in american movies beating the crap out of the geeks, are doing it in person and not hiding behind a screen. 
I believe bullying itself is already a very coward act...but doing it this way is exceptionally coward. Especially when you call someone you don't even know from a restricted number just to insult them.

 I don't get how someone can feel so threatened by someone they don't even know, that they feel the need to do something like that. I mean...if you're gonna do it, do it in person..be a woman/man and stand up to your actions!

Calling someone to insult them...to tell them they're worthless and other stuff not even worth mentioning just shows how insecure you are. It's sad, because you're trying to make someone else feel bad just because you're not sure about yourself or your relationship or whatever the reason for your call.

I think that is one of the most degrading things someone can do, you think you come out on top, but in reality you're just showing that you're not even woman/man enough to do it in person and you feel the need to hide behind a screen...

I guess what I want to tell to all the bullies out there...you're not the coming out on top...you're not even worth anyone's time or respect. Especially mine.

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

The worst day of my life..

Last Saturday I finally moved to my first very own apartment. It's not just a place where I'm "crashing" until something better comes along...it's my new place..the place I hope to live for a very long time...or until I find a billionaire to get married to.
But what was supposed to be the start of something wonderful, ended up being the worst day of my life!

Cookie had thrown up in the transporter in the ride to the new place, so I fastened her leash to the balcony while I went to get groceries and stuff we needed at the new place...but when I got home she was NO WHERE to be seen...I started frantically calling her and looking for her everywhere and I finally tried calling my Dad, which didn't work out and then I called my friend M. who luckily lives by and immediately came to meet me. I eventually managed to reach my Dad, who told me maybe she jumped/fell on the tree next to the house and I actually found Cookie on the backyard in a concrete ditch while on the phone with my Dad. I think she fell on the grass and then crawled to the ditch...she immediately let out the worst cry I have ever heard...I was so scared of hurting her or that she was very very hurt...


M got to us a few moments after I found her and he was actually my salvation, because I was basically useless!! I was crying like a baby, repeating "oh my God oh my God, I'm so sorry!!", but he picked me up, told me to go get my bag and a blanket and took me to the next vet, close to his place. Once we got there, the vet immediately said we had to take Cookie to the clinic and called us a cab (which of course made me even more useless and panicky!). 

When we got to the clinic (after not having money to pay the cab, which M took care of and I still owe him) they immediately took us in and took x-rays and blood. They told me Cookie has a broken paw and some internal bleeding in her lungs...which of course made me even more useless. She ended up staying there overnight...and I felt so bad....she looks so sad and so hurt...


I talked to the vet today and even though they say they would prefer to operate on Cookie, I see how much she wants to go home, she's not eating, she's not sleeping or drinking and she's in a huge stress. So I, after careful consideration and a very long talk with my Mum and Dad, decided not to make her go into surgery and hope that the paw will heal with a splint...

Am I a bad person? I know the surgery would fix things very fast, but it's a very invasive procedure and I don't want to make her go through that, when she doesn't absolutely need it...

I feel so bad for it...I know it wasn't my fault, I thought the leash would hold her (and I still don't know how she got out of the leash without even breaking it) but I still feel guilty over it and will do everything to keep her safe...This was literally the most terrifying feeling I had...not knowing if she would make it..seeing her so hurt and so little and small...

I am so grateful to all the doctors who took so much good care of her...and for M., for being there for me, supporting me and not caring that I was crying like a baby...and for carrying my bag (which I only realized half way through). 

When someone like that gets into your life...don't let them go!

Rosie



Thursday, 3 July 2014

Bean and Tuna salad!

A few weeks ago I decided to use a can of beans I had at home and make myself a yummy salad!

It was late..I didn't feel like actually cooking...and I had a ton of fresh stuff at home so this is what I ended up making:


I ended up using red beans, tomatoes, cucumber, tuna and olives! It was really yummy, fresh and healthy and due to the beans I got full really fast and for a long time!

I love this kind of dishes, they're easy and are healthy!

Rosie

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Heart to heart: Brave

I've been in Vienna for almost 5 months (it'll be 5 months on the 4th of July). It wasn't an easy decision to move here. It was something I've always wanted to do, because I fell in love with the city when I first came here 11 or 12 years ago. But it was hard, because that meant leaving my Parents, my Friends, my family.

A month after I arrived, I started my first job. At the time, my uncle told me he was extremely proud of me. I couldn't understand why, because in my mind I didn't do anything special. He said he was so proud of me, because I actually left everything behind, moved to a country not knowing what to expect. A few months later, I thought I had everything figured out...everything seemed to be going well at work, I had made a few new friends and I was managing living alone and raising a teenage cat on my own. 

I got fired from my first job in May. Actually, I just didn't get my contracted renewed, but for me it was the same thing. I cried. Like a baby. It was the first time I'd ever been fired from a job and the reason seemed pretty sketchy, but whatever. I didn't want to call my parents and at the same time I wanted to. My friend M. actually met me (and waited 2h for me at my door step, the poor thing!) and "made" me call my parents. I called my Dad first and I was terrified. I was so scared that I would disappoint him and that he would be mad at me. He was so supportive, just like I knew he would be, deep down.


The thing is, even though I tried to put on a brave face...I was terrified. I still am sometimes. I got a new job and I know I am lucky. I have parents who love me and help me in any way they can...friends who are always there for me, even from 3000km away, and I know the city I am in.

 But I am not brave.

A few weeks ago my Mum told me on the phone how proud she is of me...and I just don't understand why...to me, I'm not doing anything special... I know I moved countries without knowing what to expect...but I knew the city..I knew the country...and even though I had a romanticized view of Vienna (of the time my aunt was still alive), I don't think I did anything that brave... I know people who moved to a country they didn't know...heck my Mum did it back in the 80's! That is brave!!! She moved to a country she didn't know...where she didn't know the language and the culture...that's fucking bravery, not what I'm doing! I chose the one country I know...I don't think I would have ever moved somewhere I didn't know the culture or where I didn't know anyone... I'm a chicken...let's face it...

Most of the months I end up fearing to run out of money (thankfully it hasn't happened yet!) or food (also not) or worse, not being able to feed Cookie. The day I got fired I had 2€ in my wallet...and I used it to buy Cookie food. She was my priority, my first thought, my number one thing...she's my baby after all..


I don't feel like I'm brave...at all...most of the time I don't know what I'm doing! I find myself crying over the smallest things, like when I smell my Mum's perfume in the street (and I really don't like that perfume! =P) or when I see the ships in the Danube river and I suddenly remember something my Dad taught me about ships when I was a kid (he is a Captain).

Truth is, most of the time I put on a brave face, but deep down I'm fucking scared as a baby! But I don't want to worry my parents and my friends...especially my parents.. I know my Mum knows what I'm going through, but I still don't want to seem...weak. And sometimes that's how I feel. And I hate that feeling. 

I know I reached a lot in these 5 months. I know I managed to do more than many people! I got a job, I got an apartment, I fell down and I pull myself back up...and all along I kept thinking about something my Dad wrote me on my graduation cap..."Life is like a ladder". It's stuck with me since the day I read it. You start from the bottom...sometimes you fall down and are back at the beginning, but you can never give up. To me it's not an option. Going back to Portugal isn't an option, not because I don't love the country...not because I don't want to be with my friends and family (I would want nothing more than being with them!), but because the situation there isn't ok right now and I don't see it getting any better. Because I love this country and part of me was always here (my Dad was born here after all and my aunt lived here all her life). I love Austria...well, I love Vienna (I don't know anything else from Austria xD) and when I decided I was gonna come here, I knew it would be permanent. Or at least, for the next 10 to 20 years.

But even though I see how much I've achieved...how much I grew in these few months (sometimes I feel like I've grown 30 years in such a short time!!!), I still feel like the silly little girl who smiles at every dog she sees and laughs way louder that she should (usually in the most inappropriate times) and makes weird jokes that no one gets because she's got a weird humor. I still feel like a kid sometimes. And I still need my parents, no matter how far away or how old I am, I'll always need them and I'll always call them with the stupidest excuses. (and yes, sometimes I make up reasons just to call so I can listen to their voices. 

Maybe I am brave. Maybe I'm not. But in the end of the day, I'm me..and I think I'll always be the small little girl from Portugal, who loves the seaside and runs away from spiders.

Rosie

Monday, 30 June 2014

Accepting presents!

If anyone out there is having trouble spending their money and would like to give me something, I decided to write a post to help you out! See how adorably and nice I am???
So...my birthday was in June...(the 3rd), but I am a firm believer you can receive gifts anytime you want to. I mean, give. Give gifts!

Anyways...I have a Pandora bracelet. Only, it's not Pandora, it's from a brand called Silverado. It's cheaper but the quality is amazing and I love it! I have a couple of charms, but it's nowhere near being full!


I love the little family charm...I'm definitely gonna get this eventually...because I'm far away from my parents and I miss them. And it's cute.


The clove definitely should come to my collection...I mean, I need some luck coming my way, ya know? Well..I'm pretty lucky already...but still!


I found this charm while browsing Google for this post...and I am definitely gonna get this! My Opa was an actor and even though he died when I was 9, he was always a big part of my life...and I think it would be a nice way of honoring him!

So...if any of you lovelies want to give me any kind of present, feel free to!!! 

Rosie

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Drooling over Havaianas

So, I lived all my life near the seaside which meant in the summer I basically lived in flip flops. Not just any flip flops...no, what flip flops are concerned, I'm a snob! Or..well...my feet are! Ever since I was 12 and got my first pair of Havaianas, I never looked back! I had my first pair for 10 years and my second pair 12 years...it broke two months ago and I've been moping ever since..
Havaianas

When I found out they also sell them in Austria I was over the moon!!! Then I saw the price....I mean, the last pair I bought was limited edition, back in 2005 and it cost me 15€...limited edition! Today, the plain ones cost 30€!!!!

I don't know if it's because of the World Cup being in Brasil (it's a Brazilian brand) or whatnot, but I'm not gonna buy a pair for 30€! I'll wait for my Mommy to send me the pair I still have home and while I don't get them, I'll just drool over these....
´
Rosie

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Teenage cats....

This is the expression Cookie makes when I tell her she's not supposed to play with my slippers. Or better said...this is the expression she makes whenever she's doing something she's not supposed to do and I tell her to be good.


Just thought I ought to share it with you..so you see what I suffer on a daily basis...

Rosie

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Get catty

Rosie has a camera. A good camera. A canon camera. Pretty and pretty expensive. Rosie uses the camera regularly. But then Rosie forgets to upload the pictures on the computer. And when she does, she already doesn't look like in said pictures.
But today when Rosie uploaded the pictures, she decided her makeup was too good not to write about. So here it is. My makeup from like two thousand weeks ago.


I love myself a cat eye, but until recently I only used to use my gel liner from essence (so much cheaper than MAC's one and does an even better job in my opinion!)


A month ago I decided to try out a liquid liner from the drugstore Bipa here in Austria. At a little over 6€ I thought it would be a safe bet to try, not going to spend much money and boy was I right..It is, without any doubt, the best liquid eyeliner I EVER tried!!!


It's waterproof and does not smudge AT ALL! I can wear this all day and it will not budge!


I just love the look of a cat eye...

 Rosie